You can’t be someone you’re not, no matter how hard you try. It’s too tiring, too fake, too consuming.

Sometimes, you pretend for so long, you think it’s real. It flickers at the back of your mind, when you finish laughing that high pitched laugh, when you finish dabbing your mouth, when you finish simpering and pretending to not notice when someone is looking at you–why am I doing this?

.

The ringing is in your ears again, more insistent, more constant, but you pretend it’s not there, because it’s easier to not deal with it.

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